just for now.

Here’s a little cuteness update. They make me happy when skies are grey.

Zoyenka is, at 16 months, practically a teenager. She likes what she likes and you will not convince her otherwise. This little face is one of her favorites in her large collection. She loves/loves/loves to give kisses, and especially likes to love on daddy. My heart gets so many smiles from watching her little ’self’ assert itself freely and abundantly. I feel challenged and blessed to be able to try and create a healthy environment to let her blossom in.

I was reminded today that you cannot “train” bad behavior out of a child, no matter how hard you try or how perfect you are….I do want to put healthy boundaries in place to keep her safe, but I’m not so pompous to believe I can make her holy by teaching her to obey me without question. I feel like I’m going on and on. I guess I’m just really, really inspired to find that fine line between the discipline that must take place (can’t let them eat ice-cream every day even though they would definitely choose to!) and the preservation of self-will that I’d like to see in my kiddos.

Isaiah, my treasure. My three year old. He is growing into a little man so super, duper fast. He’s also starting to hear and see things we didn’t use to have to worry about. So that’s challenging. Today I was watching a TV show where one scene had a little girl being told by a nurse that her mommy had died in a car accident. I didn’t realize Isaiah was paying any attention until a couple minutes later when he said, “That girl sad, her mommy die.”

Oh my heart! “Yeah Zay, she is sad…” And then I tried to talk to him a little about how that made him feel. He’s totally open about his feelings and it’s so sweet to watch a perfectly little transparent soul in process.

When he has to do something he doesn’t want to he often says, “I’m MAD!” and then, “It’s okay to be mad.” Because we’ve told him that it is. Usually we then have to remind him that it’s okay to be mad, but you can’t throw a fit or hurt people. It’s been a really interesting process for me to go through Isaiah’s emotions with him and really have to re-think the way I think in light of those questioning little three-year-old eyes. We don’t want to tell him that he can’t have strong emotion, at the same time, we don’t endorse “NO I WON’T PUT ON MY COAT” fits, you know?

But is there hope for moderation in such a young child’s life? I think so. We’ve seen glimmers. And I really do get a kick out of those “It’s okay to be angry!” moments. It’s always, always a reminder back at myself that yes, Heather, you can get angry and frustrated, but how you channel that emotion is the part you can do right or wrong.